Can a Juicy Burger Really Cure Your Hangover?

Comedian Jeff Danson pulled a rookie move last night. We all know what happens when you drink beer before liquor and now he's paying the price. Can a juicy burger help ease his pain?

Released on 9/15/2014

Credits

Starring: Dr. Keller Wortham and Fran Kranz

Transcript

00:01
[Fran] Can a hamburger truly cure a hangover?
00:03
[Dr. Kellar] We've created a lab to test
00:04
the world's greatest hangover cures
00:05
and we're gonna test them all.
00:07
I'm doctor Kellar Wortham, Doctor of Internal Medicine.
00:10
I'm Fran Kranz.
00:11
I'm not a doctor, but I've been hung over a lot.
00:14
Welcome to the GQ Hangover Lab.
00:19
My name's Jeff Danson.
00:20
I'm a stand-up comedian.
00:23
What happened last night?
00:24
What did you drink and why?
00:25
I drank beer and tequila.
00:28
And this is after one beer.
00:30
[Jeff] No, no, no. This is Jeff
00:31
after one beer.
00:32
Already engaging in bestiality.
00:33
That's my puppy, Pizza.
00:34
Okay, so he's still alive.
00:35
Those are fucked up eyes. Yeah.
00:37
Both on you and Pizza, by the way.
00:39
Yeah, I know.
00:40
[Fran] Okay, how do you feel today?
00:43
Fucked up.
00:44
So we kinda wanted to get a gauge
00:45
on how hungover you are
00:46
before we go into testing
00:48
so we did some vital signs,
00:49
we did a urine test,
00:50
we checked your blood pressure,
00:52
your pulse,
00:53
some coordination and memory testing (buzz).
00:57
(group groans)
00:58
We have a very scientific chart
01:00
to sort of measure how one feels.
01:02
I'm probably here at six.
01:05
And now let's get to the cure.
01:07
I'm ready to eat.
01:08
So we spent a little time with Jeff.
01:10
I think it's fair to say he's hungover.
01:11
He's not with us (laughing).
01:13
He's not all there.
01:14
He's not all there.
01:15
He's got the classic signs of a hangover.
01:16
He's got low energy cause his body isn't making blood sugar.
01:19
He's got a bunch of toxins in his blood
01:21
that are making him feel really crappy,
01:23
messing with his coordination. Absolutely.
01:25
He's got a high blood pressure
01:27
which is a sign he's a little bit agitated.
01:29
Basically alcohol blocks a certain hormone
01:31
that keeps you from recollecting the water from your kidneys
01:35
that you should be holding on to.
01:37
And that is the primary reason why you end up
01:39
so dehydrated when you've been drinking a lot of alcohol.
01:42
So what are we gonna give him?
01:44
We got a beautiful, juicy hangover burger.
01:47
We should say that this burger
01:48
is the mother of all burgers for a hangover cure.
01:51
I mean it's got a really fluffy bun
01:53
so there's lots of sugar right in that.
01:55
And it's got an egg which is actually a special thing
01:58
for a hangover.
01:59
It's got a certain amino acid called Cysteine in it
02:01
that actually helps you speed up
02:02
your metabolism of alcohol. Huh.
02:04
I think he's gonna feel better and perform worse.
02:06
One doctor's opinion.
02:07
This is my favorite part so far.
02:10
So the funny thing is,
02:11
when you're hung over,
02:12
your metabolic system is thrown off
02:14
and it produces this one hormone
02:17
that makes us crave fatty foods.
02:20
So you're actually satisfying your desire
02:24
to eat fatty food.
02:26
(upbeat techno music)
02:35
It's so good.
02:37
[Dr. Kellar] How are you feeling?
02:38
Great.
02:39
[Dr. Kellar] Great.
02:39
I didn't pay for this burger (laughs).
02:42
Let's see if it works.
02:44
So we're gonna see what that burger did
02:45
for your blood pressure.
02:49
It dropped substantially.
02:51
It went from 150 to 130,
02:52
so I think just the pleasure probably
02:55
of getting some food in his system
02:56
dropped his blood pressure.
02:57
I hope that people at home
02:58
don't take away that burgers lower your blood pressure,
03:00
because they don't.
03:01
But maybe when you're hung over.
03:03
Yeah, his pulse went down to 61.
03:05
So you're more relaxed.
03:06
Yeah, I think we still need to test the motor skills.
03:09
Oh God.
03:10
Last time we made it to an eight.
03:13
Let's see if you can beat it.
03:15
(beeping)
03:25
(group groans)
03:26
I didn't know what the last one was.
03:28
I forgot. It's blue.
03:29
So let's break it down.
03:30
You went from an eight to a nine in the memory game.
03:34
That's what gets the girl to go home with you.
03:36
Interestingly enough,
03:36
after a big, greasy, salty burger,
03:38
a decrease in your blood pressure,
03:40
a decrease in your pulse rate,
03:41
I mean you certainly felt more relaxed.
03:44
Your blood sugar stayed the same which was great.
03:46
Who cares what changed in the numbers,
03:48
I wanna know if you really feel better.
03:50
Yeah.
03:50
So before I was at a six,
03:53
now I'm at two.
03:55
I feel good about myself.
03:57
I feel extremely ready to go to sleep.
03:59
Great.
04:00
First of all, I'm floored
04:01
that a big juicy burger and fries
04:04
brought his blood pressure down.
04:05
I mean that's gotta make doctors everywhere
04:07
pretty pissed off.
04:08
Definitely sending the wrong message (laughing).
04:10
So looking at all the results together,
04:11
his numbers, how he did on the memory test,
04:14
I'm gonna have to give the juicy, greasy burger a B.
04:19
Because he feels better,
04:20
he did a little bit better on his vital signs
04:22
and the memory game,
04:23
but it didn't really address dehydration
04:24
which is the main thing we gotta worry about.
04:26
Right. Okay.
04:27
Well I mean I gotta give it a better grade than that.
04:29
I mean that's such a tried and true,
04:30
for me the burger, the greasy food,
04:33
I'm gonna go A-.
04:35
Bottom line is he feels substantially better.
04:38
We sent him home a happier person.
04:40
I'm Fran Kranz.
04:41
I'm Dr. Kellar.
04:42
Thanks for visiting the GQ Hangover Lab.
04:46
If you wanna know more about hangovers,
04:48
how to prevent them and how to cure them,
04:50
subscribe to the channel.
04:51
(upbeat Techno music)