Catch-Up on the World Cup 2014 in Under Two Minutes

With World Cup matches already underway, we’ve got the teams, players, and stats you must know to talk like you know what you're talking about. The big picture? The tournament is still very much in play, and it is anyone’s game to win (except Spain’s)

Released on 6/20/2014

Credits

Animator: Broken Pixel Media

Transcript

00:00
(majestic music)
00:04
[Narrator] Welcome back, emerging soccer fan,
00:06
and not a moment too soon as things
00:07
are just beginning to heat up in Brazil.
00:10
But let's back this thing up for a minute.
00:13
Despite the worst defeat by a defending champion,
00:15
Spain was still a top contender,
00:18
but Chile put an end to that glorious era.
00:21
And Brazil, winningest team in World Cup history,
00:24
and origin of the famously (coughs)
00:27
thorough hair removal technique.
00:28
(peeling wax)
00:29
Ouch.
00:30
Is led by Neymar, who debuted with two huge goals.
00:34
♫ And here I come
00:36
According to consensus, Germany, Argentina, and Belgium
00:39
are also odds-on favorites to win the Cup,
00:41
but don't count out the perennial powerhouses
00:43
just because they've struggled leading up to the tournament.
00:45
Like the Patriots or the Spurs, it's always wise
00:48
to keep an eye on Netherlands and France.
00:50
And we know where we stand, our soccer culture
00:52
having really been defined in the last three Cups.
00:56
And one of the most celebrated figures
00:57
in our rise to relevance has been forced
01:00
to watch from the stands.
01:01
(photo snapping)
01:02
This while we're in the group unofficially designated
01:04
as the most difficult to survive.
01:07
Second ranked Germany has been to the finals
01:09
a ridiculous seven times out of 19,
01:12
and they just demolished fourth ranked Portugal,
01:15
who has one of the best strikers in the world.
01:17
And Ghana?
01:18
Well, they just so happened to have knocked us
01:20
out of the last two World Cups.
01:22
But not this time.
01:24
Our new coach, a former World Cup Champion,
01:26
and FIFA World Player of the Year
01:28
has a young USA squad with the potential to turn heads,
01:31
even if he chooses not to say so out loud.
01:35
Because beyond what's on paper, and eloquently read
01:37
by this mostly sober narrator,
01:39
these games could truly go any way.
01:42
To hell with odds.
01:43
Let's play on.
01:45
Did all that nationalism rouse your travel bug?
01:48
Well travel with us in the next Soccerology,
01:50
and subscribe to GQ for more of the best
01:52
in men's fashion, sport, and culture.