Noel Gallagher Goes Undercover on Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, and Quora

On this episode of "Actually Me," Noel Gallagher goes undercover on the Internet and responds to real comments from Twitter, Reddit, Quora, YouTube, Wikipedia, and more.

Released on 12/5/2017

Transcript

00:00
Hello, I'm clearly Noel Gallagher,
00:03
I am responding to your internet questions,
00:06
this is Actually Me.
00:08
(light piano music)
00:12
First, let's go to the playground
00:14
of the fucking idiot, which is Twitter.
00:16
(light piano music)
00:18
(laughing)
00:19
Both Liam and Noel Gallagher's bands always have
00:22
at least two fellas, who look like Noel Gallagher.
00:25
Is this a contractual thing?
00:27
I'm afraid to say that it is,
00:28
but you know, at least we don't have two girls,
00:30
who look like Noel Gallagher,
00:32
because that, nobody wants to see that.
00:35
Tweeted.
00:36
I'm going to your concert next year at London.
00:40
at London,
00:41
Are you going to play stuff off your older solo albums?
00:46
Well, almost certainly I'll be playing them at London
00:49
and probably at New York as well
00:52
and almost certainly at Buenos Aires.
00:56
Does the scissor player, or the scissorist,
00:59
which is not even a word,
01:01
in Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
01:03
get a soundcheck, or better still
01:05
does she have her own scissor tech?
01:07
She is the Scissor Queen and she can do anything.
01:11
She does not get a soundcheck,
01:12
because we have yet to do an actual gig,
01:14
she doesn't have a scissor tech either,
01:16
because scissor techs don't exist,
01:20
but no doubt she'll want one
01:21
and if she wants one, she can have one,
01:24
because she's amazing.
01:27
Reddit.
01:29
♪ There are many things I would like to say to you ♪
01:32
(laughing)
01:34
♪ But I don't know how ♪
01:40
♪ Because maybe ♪
01:44
♪ You're gonna be the one that saves me ♪
01:48
That's a good note, that one.
01:50
♪ And after all ♪
01:55
♪ You're my wonderwall ♪
02:00
That's actually not too dissimilar
02:03
to how Liam sang it the first time I played it,
02:05
I had to say to him,
02:07
mate, you're gonna have to calm that shit down, man,
02:09
that's not gonna sell to anybody in China.
02:11
I mean, I've gotta say, I've fucking heard worse,
02:13
I've heard worse in rehearsals,
02:15
I mean, it's not great,
02:16
I don't know what he's got on his head,
02:17
but I think he's got to the essence of the tune there,
02:19
it's pretty fucking good, respect.
02:23
Does anyone know why Noel Gallagher
02:25
changes the key of Oasis songs during his solo shows?
02:29
When I was in Oasis, I would write a song in a certain key
02:32
and more often than not, we would have to bring
02:34
that key down to suit the other fella's voice,
02:37
so when I do the Oasis songs in my own solo shows,
02:43
I move the key back up to where it was originally intended.
02:46
There you go.
02:48
I've been playing guitar for a few years now
02:50
and have never really gone anywhere with my songwriting,
02:54
I would like to start writing songs
02:56
and have them in a similar sounding vein to Oasis.
02:59
(laughs)
03:00
What sort of chord progressions could I look at?
03:03
I've had a play around with some of the bluesy stuff,
03:05
similar to All Around the World and Digsy's Dinner,
03:08
however I don't seem to be going anywhere with it.
03:11
I just wondered if anyone had any tips for me?
03:14
Well, I'm gonna say, if you think All Around the World
03:16
and Digsy's Dinner are the fucking blues,
03:19
then my tip for you would be pack it in
03:22
and get yourself a fucking synthesizer.
03:24
Posted.
03:26
Next up, Answers.com,
03:28
it's actually me.
03:30
Does Noel Gallagher believe in God?
03:32
I believe in myself, because I'm sat here now,
03:36
so in a way I do, but in another way I don't.
03:39
Submit.
03:40
Who is richer, Noel or Liam Gallagher?
03:44
I mean, it really goes without saying.
03:48
Quora.
03:49
Who is the nicer brother, Liam or Noel Gallagher and why?
03:54
Well, I mean, it goes without saying,
03:56
because I didn't try to sue anybody,
03:58
that makes me nice, I think.
04:00
Enter.
04:01
How did The Smiths' guitarist, Johnny Marr
04:03
inspire bands like Oasis and The Stone Roses?
04:07
Well I can't speak for The Stone Roses,
04:09
I can only tell you that that man
04:11
has been an influence and an inspiration to me,
04:14
since I first seen The Smiths in...
04:18
1983, the guitars that I played
04:21
and bought in my first years in Oasis
04:25
were directly because Johnny played them.
04:26
He's an all round super fucking dude,
04:30
he's a Man City fan, he is that cool, I'm afraid.
04:33
There's nothing else I can say.
04:36
Yahoo Answers.
04:39
It's really me.
04:40
How do I get the Noel Gallagher tone?
04:43
The famous Noel Gallagher tones.
04:45
For all you Oasis fans out there
04:47
and for people who play guitar,
04:49
what pedals and amps do I need
04:52
to sound like Noel Gallagher's tone?
04:55
Can someone please tell me,
04:57
I've used Wikipedia and it doesn't seem to help.
05:00
Well, there's a fucking surprise.
05:02
I use Hiwatt Custom 50 amps currently,
05:07
Nash Jazzmasters currently,
05:10
the effects pedals that I use are too numerous to go into,
05:14
needless to say, you'd have to start with the amplifiers,
05:17
but even then, you'd need these and this
05:20
and this, so good luck with that.
05:24
Why does Noel Gallagher of Oasis call Liam, Our Kid?
05:28
It's a Northern term,
05:30
that siblings use to describe each other,
05:33
that's all I can tell you, that's all I know, our kid.
05:37
Enter.
05:38
(laughs)
05:38
Why did Dave Ghroll, spelt incorrectly,
05:42
decide to leave Oasis?
05:43
I don't know what that means,
05:45
Dave Grohl was never in Oasis, was he?
05:47
I mean, I was fucking out of my mind most of the time,
05:49
but was he ever in Oasis?
05:51
I don't think so.
05:52
He wishes.
05:54
Is Noel Gallagher actually God?
05:59
I mean, to most people, no, but to some people, yes,
06:02
but as God doesn't actually exist,
06:04
then I'm afraid I'm gonna have to do,
06:05
until somebody better qualified comes along,
06:09
so in a way, yes.
06:12
Instagram.
06:14
Ha, What were these hairstyles?
06:16
They were long, if I remember correctly,
06:19
we'd just come back, we'd been in the south of France
06:21
recording an album for about four months.
06:23
There was a lack of hairdressers out in the south of France
06:27
and we were just letting it,
06:28
you know, grow free and easy, man.
06:30
They're quite '70s, aren't they?
06:32
An insane picture.
06:34
Let's go to Wikipedia.
06:37
Gallagher spent extravagantly
06:39
buying various cars and a swimming pool,
06:42
despite the fact that he could neither drive, nor swim.
06:45
He named his house in Belsize Park in London,
06:48
Supernova Heights, after the song, Champagne Supernova
06:53
and his two cats, Benson and Hedges,
06:56
after his favorite brand of cigarettes.
06:58
I'm afraid all this is true,
07:00
I'm also afraid that I was very high during the '90s
07:04
and drunk most of the time,
07:06
I can only tell you
07:07
that it was a fucking brilliant time in my life
07:09
and I was naming everything after everything,
07:12
naming cats after cigarettes though,
07:15
one of my finer moments, I must say.
07:18
Gallagher has said he sometimes
07:20
does not understand his own lyrics, commenting in 2005,
07:26
that when I am halfway through Don't Look Back in Anger,
07:29
I say to myself, I still don't know what these words mean.
07:32
There is a bit of truth in that statement,
07:34
like the bit in Champagne Supernova
07:36
about slowly walking down the hall
07:38
faster than a cannonball, what does that mean?
07:41
And the answer is I don't know what it means,
07:43
I don't care what it means, it must mean something though,
07:46
'cause I play it to a sea of people every night
07:48
and they seem to understand it,
07:50
that's all that matters, I guess.
07:53
Back to Quora.
07:55
Who helps Noel Gallagher write his songs,
07:58
since it's been said he neither reads nor writes music?
08:03
Well, I don't read nor write music
08:05
in the traditional sense like say, Beethoven,
08:09
I do it all myself,
08:10
hence me being a genius.
08:13
Did Noel Gallagher write Live Forever
08:16
after having a dream in which he never died?
08:19
No, he did not, but that,
08:21
after having a dream, in which he never died
08:23
has the makings of a good lyric,
08:24
which I am gonna steal off you, whoever you are
08:27
and I'm gonna put it in a song
08:29
and buy myself another swimming pool.
08:33
IMDB.
08:35
Frequently uses a Gibson ES-355
08:39
Vintage model guitar, cherry red color finish,
08:43
an Epiphone Sheraton guitar with a Union Jack finish,
08:46
which I don't use anymore, and only used it twice
08:50
and a Nash Jazzmaster
08:54
(with light aging).
08:56
There you go.
08:58
Reddit.
08:59
So there's a headline from the NME, that says
09:02
Noel Gallagher got so drunk with Bono on tour,
09:05
that he tried to escape,
09:06
and the question is, escape what?
09:09
I'm not sure I was trying to escape.
09:11
I wouldn't believe everything
09:12
that's written in the NME anyway.
09:14
I can't remember now, (laughs) 'cause I was drunk.
09:19
Does anybody know where I could find these sunglasses?
09:24
Company called Garret Leight,
09:26
I believe they're American, I don't know where I got mine,
09:29
but I'm sure you can find them on the internet,
09:30
but they are rather tasty.
09:33
Oasis snubbed the Trainspotting soundtrack,
09:35
because Noel Gallagher thought
09:37
it was about real trainspotters.
09:39
I was at a party recently and I met somebody
09:42
from the production team of Trainspotting way back
09:45
and they reminded me that I did actually, I said (laughs)
09:49
that a film about trainspotters sounds fucking boring
09:52
and refused to give them any music.
09:53
I have no recollection of this,
09:54
but this woman did insist that it did happen,
09:57
so seemingly it would be true, yes.
10:00
A funny story.
10:02
Unfortunately we've come to the end,
10:04
so this is me, this is I,
10:07
Noel Gallagher saying goodbye.
10:11
Fucking idiots.