Why Do Adult Women Like Ponies and Cupcakes?

GQ's advice lady Lauren Bans discuses the "twee" phenomenon where grown women act like all-too-adorable-wittle-girls, and explains how you can find an adult woman to date

Released on 6/26/2014

Credits

Starring: Lauren Bans

Transcript

00:00
I'm Lauren, I write a column for GQ
00:02
called Ask a Real Live Lady, and I'm here to answer
00:05
all the questions you'd feel too stupid
00:07
to ask a woman you actually know.
00:10
Dear GQ Advice Lady, why is every woman on OkCupid
00:14
into cupcakes and knitting and Japanese cartoon characters
00:18
all of a sudden, was a memo sent to female-kind
00:21
instructing you all to act 14?
00:23
It's true, thanks to real life Morton Salt girl
00:26
Zooey Deschanel and her adult sized six year old schtick.
00:29
There is an early episode of The New Girl
00:32
where she's unable to say the word penis, seriously.
00:35
She stutters out other words like pee pee and petunia.
00:39
I mean, so adorbs, right?
00:41
Blah.
00:43
To be fair, girlhood is fun, I'm not saying women can't
00:46
experience object sexuality towards a My Little Pony
00:48
every now and again, and obviously, I get the appeal
00:51
of cupcakes, they're pretty and they're made out of cake.
00:54
But I do think it's problematic when a woman
00:56
is entirely suspended in bubblegum adolescence.
00:59
Especially when your boss Googles your name
01:01
and discovers your Pinterest page
01:03
looks like a junior high scrapbook.
01:05
Hey check out these lampshades
01:06
made of Ryan Gosling pictures.
01:09
Anyone seeking out the kind of woman
01:10
who uses the word pee pee might as well
01:12
just make love to a Hello Kitty lunchbox.
01:15
As for your specific OkCupid dilemma,
01:17
try using the keyword search.
01:19
Type in your super mature hobbies like golf or reading
01:23
or dying of old age in my sleep.
01:25
Surely some equally mature lady who doesn't keep a bottle
01:28
of fairy dust in her medicine cabinet will turn up soon.