Why Do Adult Women Like Ponies and Cupcakes?
GQ's advice lady Lauren Bans discuses the "twee" phenomenon where grown women act like all-too-adorable-wittle-girls, and explains how you can find an adult woman to date
Released on 6/26/2014
I'm Lauren, I write a column for GQ
called Ask a Real Live Lady, and I'm here to answer
all the questions you'd feel too stupid
to ask a woman you actually know.
Dear GQ Advice Lady, why is every woman on OkCupid
into cupcakes and knitting and Japanese cartoon characters
all of a sudden, was a memo sent to female-kind
instructing you all to act 14?
It's true, thanks to real life Morton Salt girl
Zooey Deschanel and her adult sized six year old schtick.
There is an early episode of The New Girl
where she's unable to say the word penis, seriously.
She stutters out other words like pee pee and petunia.
I mean, so adorbs, right?
To be fair, girlhood is fun, I'm not saying women can't
experience object sexuality towards a My Little Pony
every now and again, and obviously, I get the appeal
of cupcakes, they're pretty and they're made out of cake.
But I do think it's problematic when a woman
is entirely suspended in bubblegum adolescence.
Especially when your boss Googles your name
and discovers your Pinterest page
looks like a junior high scrapbook.
Hey check out these lampshades
made of Ryan Gosling pictures.
Anyone seeking out the kind of woman
who uses the word pee pee might as well
just make love to a Hello Kitty lunchbox.
As for your specific OkCupid dilemma,
try using the keyword search.
Type in your super mature hobbies like golf or reading
or dying of old age in my sleep.
Surely some equally mature lady who doesn't keep a bottle
of fairy dust in her medicine cabinet will turn up soon.