What if She Wants to See a Dick Pic?

Sorry fellas, chances are she doesn’t want to see a disembodied photo of your member. Try sending flowers instead

Released on 7/3/2014

Credits

Starring: Lauren Bans

Transcript

00:00
I'm Lauren.
00:01
I write a column for GQ called Ask a Real Live Lady,
00:04
and I'm here to answer all the questions you'd feel
00:06
too stupid to ask a woman you actually know.
00:11
Dear Ask a Real Live Lady,
00:13
I know I'm not supposed to send dick pics,
00:16
but what if a girl wants one?
00:18
Dear man with a very nice penis,
00:21
anything short of, I wanna see a photo
00:23
of your erect genitals, does not cut it here.
00:26
Dick pics fall under the category of:
00:28
Things you do not do unless you are absolutely certain
00:31
the other person really, really wants it.
00:33
Look, I get that men are in a constant state of,
00:36
Hey, I would love to see some breasts right now.
00:38
Doesn't matter if it's 8:00 a.m.
00:40
or you're at your grandmother's funeral,
00:42
so you figure, Women must feel the same way
00:44
about my gorgeous penis.
00:46
This is an error in logic.
00:47
If you're going to send me a picture of your dick,
00:49
that better be to comic effect.
00:51
Like you've drawn glasses and a mustache on it.
00:54
Or it's flaccid.
00:55
Flaccid penises are hilarious,
00:57
the same French bulldogs are always hilarious.
01:00
Don't ask me why, it's just how
01:01
God and Heaven designed things.
01:03
Women like penises, seriously.
01:05
We just don't like creepy disembodied photos of them
01:08
sent like it's part of some sort of
01:10
normal flirtation ritual.
01:12
It's not normal.
01:13
A penis pic is not a first date flower bouquet, okay?