10 Things Jo Koy Can't Live Without

Comedian Jo Koy has a few things he always takes with him when he hits the road. From his gold rolex and his Gucci luggage to his Ralph Lauren spandex and Nike Air Sneakers, Jo shows us everything he can't live without.

Released on 6/28/2019

Transcript

00:00
I honestly feel that I should be selfie director.
00:03
Like, you're behind the camera, directing, correct?
00:06
I'm in front of the camera lens directing myself.
00:09
Get it?
00:10
It's like you holding that camera right there,
00:12
Action!
00:15
And then everything cuts back to you like this.
00:16
And...
00:19
Hey guys! It's Jo Koy.
00:21
And these are my essentials.
00:24
[music]
00:28
First and foremost, I can't live life without coffee.
00:34
And it can't just be coffee.
00:35
Four shots of espresso with vanilla powder,
00:40
over pearl ice cubes.
00:42
The only way you can get that, is through Coffee Bean.
00:44
What's so good about the powder?
00:46
Have you ever tried syrup?
00:48
Tastes like crap.
00:49
Powder is kinda like the texture to coffee.
00:52
You wanna give your coffee a little texture?
00:54
Throw some powder in there.
01:00
What?!
01:01
Why are we...?
01:03
This is actually Miffit.
01:05
I collect Rolexes.
01:06
They were like career goals.
01:08
I think everyone should have goals.
01:09
It doesn't matter what they are.
01:11
Set a goal.
01:12
Knock that goal down.
01:13
And then set another goal.
01:14
That's how you climb.
01:15
Mine is, a Rolex.
01:18
My twentieth year, I bought a solid gold Presidential.
01:22
This was year thirty. Solid gold.
01:26
My son, this is how he feels about the Rolexes.
01:29
They're mine, right, dad?
01:30
Everything that I've accomplished,
01:32
is all going to him.
01:34
So, actually I'm wearing my son's Rolex.
01:36
I am kind of a Gucci fanatic.
01:39
I will spend five paychecks
01:42
on one Gucci item
01:44
because that's always been how I lived my life.
01:47
It's got all the color ways too.
01:48
That's what I love about this bag.
01:50
It's so subtle yet you know it's Gucci.
01:53
They got shoulder strap,
01:54
and then they got the blue and red here.
01:55
So, I have a mask because I don't like it
01:59
when people fly next to me, and they sneeze.
02:02
And then the sneeze goes in my mouth.
02:04
See, without this, I'm flying,
02:05
and then someone next to me goes, achhoo!
02:08
And then I go...ugh!!
02:11
You blew malaria into my throat!
02:13
So enjoy your cold.
02:16
This is a CPAP machine.
02:20
This, is why...
02:24
I have that backpack.
02:25
Are you kidding me?
02:26
Head to toe! I look good.
02:28
And then, I compliment my outfit with this?
02:32
It's called Death Gray.
02:33
Whoever designed the bag, let's make it hip.
02:35
Let's put a hint of turquoise.
02:40
Look at this thing.
02:42
This is what I have to carry,
02:43
Or else I die.
02:45
So this end of the hose goes right here,
02:48
and then you take this part of the hose,
02:51
and you stick it right here on your Bane mask.
02:57
Are you ready ladies?
02:58
Do you know how mercinis? Oh my god.
03:00
That was beautiful. It's time for bed.
03:02
I'll see you in the morning.
03:10
[choking and gargling]
03:12
I wish I was exaggerating.
03:14
Without this mask, I can't sleep.
03:16
It shoves air down my throat.
03:19
I don't breathe.
03:21
Like it's not snoring.
03:22
People think sleep apnea is snoring. No, it's not.
03:24
For some reason, my brain's like,
03:26
oh, you're gonna sleep, Jo?
03:27
And I'm like, yeah.
03:28
And then my brain's like, okay, us too.
03:30
So everything shuts the f*ck off.
03:33
The whole body. Thank God for CPAP.
03:35
These are kind of like my favorite sunglasses.
03:37
These are my go-to's right here.
03:38
These are my, Givenchys? I think you say it like that.
03:41
Givenchy? I don't even know.
03:43
I like big glasses, like huge.
03:46
When I'm wearing 'em, people are like,
03:47
oh my god, you must've had Lasik.
03:49
Cause they have to be that big.
03:52
Get it?
03:54
Like here's my ears,
03:55
I need this part to like, be even with this ear.
03:59
I like my glasses big like this.
04:01
And it's hard to find.
04:02
So, when I get 'em, I buy 'em.
04:04
Now you're probably wondering to yourselves, why?
04:07
Why do you buy big, giant frames?
04:09
Because I have been blessed with a large head.
04:14
It's a size 7 and 3/8.
04:17
And that's massive.
04:18
When you have a head that big,
04:19
you should only have a yellow shirt with a black zig zag
04:22
striped across the chest.
04:23
That's a Charlie Brown reference,
04:24
for all you young kids that don't know
04:26
who the f*ck Charlie Brown is.
04:27
This is what happens when you wear smaller glasses.
04:30
I look like Lawrence Fishburne
04:33
in the Matrix.
04:39
The iPhone.
04:40
Why?
04:40
Because I always buy the newest one.
04:43
They can sell me anything at Apple,
04:45
and guess what I do?
04:46
I f*cking buy it.
04:48
Everything they say to me, I don't even understand it.
04:50
The iPhone...
04:51
[mumbling]
04:54
and then I go like this, I'll take it!
04:55
Do you have it in black?
04:57
Top three apps on my iPhone. Are you ready?
05:00
Instagram.
05:00
iMovie.
05:01
And...
05:02
Glow Puzzle
05:04
Hey, since you like Glow Puzzle,
05:05
here's Popcorn Hole. Swipe to start!
05:08
Okay! Basically, it's a hole,
05:11
and you try and stick as much popcorn in that hole
05:14
in seconds.
05:16
I play the dumbest games.
05:21
Right here is an original piece.
05:23
This is off-white denim.
05:25
I got this one in Japan.
05:27
I love this piece right here. This one's beautiful.
05:29
Look at that. Whoo!
05:31
Fitted sleeves. Tapered on the side.
05:34
You rock this,
05:36
and people will know that it's something special.
05:38
I love rockin' this one.
05:40
And then I personalize it. Can I show you?
05:43
From the ghetto to the getty.
05:45
It's exactly what it is, man.
05:47
You know what I mean?
05:48
You bust your ass.
05:49
Like I said, you try and get those goals.
05:51
And you set yourself to the highest goal.
05:54
You know, when I first started stand-up,
05:56
I used to rent theaters.
05:59
You know that worked in the best areas.
06:02
Those are your humble beginnings.
06:04
And then, uh, thirty years later,
06:06
you get to play the Blaisedell Arena in Honolulu, Hawaii.
06:10
So, it's got a lot of meaning to it.
06:13
My son's mom, her boyfriend is an artist.
06:16
He designed that piece right there.
06:19
It's also what I wore in the Special.
06:21
So I'm actually rockin' his piece on stage.
06:25
Boom! That's how we do it.
06:27
All I know is, Virgil, you are killin' the game.
06:31
You know, bringin' that flavor and that culture
06:33
to the masses is something very, very special.
06:37
And I'm just happy that this happened during my generation.
06:41
If I can rock Virgil's shi*, I will.
06:43
He's a modern day genius, man.
06:45
I've been on this kick 'cause I love shorts.
06:49
I like to wear 'em year round. I really do.
06:51
So, what I've done now is I wear spandex
06:54
underneath my shorts.
06:56
Do you wanna see 'em?
06:57
This is what I like to wear.
06:59
I wear spandex a lot.
07:00
I do have a little bit of an insecurity with my leg.
07:03
Do we wanna get graphic? You sure?
07:05
When I was fifteen, I almost died on a motorcycle.
07:08
Compound femur fracture.
07:10
That's when the bone comes out of your leg,
07:12
It's also the biggest bone in your body,
07:14
stickin' out about this far.
07:16
My shin, both bones broken.
07:18
Tibula and fibula.
07:19
Burnt all the way up from my ankles
07:21
all the way up to my knee,
07:22
and my knee was dislocated.
07:23
So don't ride a motorcycle.
07:25
That's why I wear
07:28
spandex.
07:30
Bow! With them off-white Presto.
07:32
What?!
07:34
The only pair of Nikes you should ever buy.
07:37
This is somethin' I rocked on the Special as well.
07:39
I was actually gonna walk out on stage
07:40
with some Nike Huaraches,
07:42
some blue standard Huaraches,
07:44
and my son was like, nope.
07:46
You need something special for your Special.
07:47
And he's like, you need to get them off-white Prestos dad.
07:50
So, big shout-out to Virgil again.
07:52
This to me, this is artwork.
07:54
This isn't even a shoe right here.
07:56
This is an art piece.
07:57
What do I like about it?
07:58
Everything.
07:59
This is when you're so creative,
08:01
and you take every ounce of creativity,
08:04
and you build it right in front of you.
08:06
I haven't seen a piece this beautiful since the Jordan 3s.
08:10
This is a real shoe head right here, you guys.
08:12
I was rockin' Jordans when Jordan was playing.
08:14
So stop, don't you ever f*ckin' say that to me.
08:19
This is a family-owned business right here.
08:20
I put 'em on the map!
08:22
Y'all owe me.
08:24
808, baby! 808 all day! Everyday!
08:28
Look at that.
08:29
All the way from Maui. Chi-hoo!
08:31
If you're ever in Maui, you go to the mall there,
08:33
there's only one. Don't go, which one?
08:35
There's only one mall there.
08:37
Just go to One Eighty.
08:38
The name of the store is called One Eighty.
08:40
I can't get enough of these hats, man.
08:43
Boom.
08:44
Come on.
08:45
Real low. Don't let 'em see your eyes, man.
08:47
Don't let 'em see your soul, bro.
08:50
I love everything about Hawaii.
08:53
I love the fans there,
08:54
I love the people there.
08:55
Hawaii is everything to me, are you kidding me?
08:57
That's where I broke the record.
08:58
I'd never sold that many tickets in my life before.
09:01
I sold twenty-four thousand tickets,
09:03
six months in advance.
09:05
I remember performing at the Queen Kapiolani,
09:07
we're handing out free coupons to everybody.
09:09
There'd be like four hundred chairs empty
09:11
and just six people,
09:13
and it'd be the six people I begged to come.
09:15
But, you know, you still perform.
09:16
I'm like, people don't know that.
09:18
People think that it just always happens.
09:20
That's not what happened.
09:21
I remember those six people,
09:22
and that's special to me.
09:25
I don't carry big, giant billfolds.
09:27
I don't carry cash.
09:28
I only carry one credit card. This is all I carry.
09:30
Yes, it's heavy.
09:32
Have you ever heard that?
09:33
You wanna buy a house with it? Go ahead.
09:36
And it goes in here. It's Prada.
09:38
What I love the most about Prada,
09:40
you know it's something when you look at it.
09:42
Whenever I wear a Prada suit,
09:44
I always get like, you know, who made that?
09:46
That's beautiful.
09:47
Every time I wear it,
09:48
it just looks like, a piece.
09:51
And that's what sells the name.
09:54
And they believe in their product.
09:56
I don't think anyone's in here.
09:58
I'm Jo Koy. And those are my essentials.